Hunting Forum

so whats the difference in the ending of these two stories???
a drunk guy walks in the front door of his house at 2 in the morning.. his wife is standing there waiting for him with a broom in her hand. he looks her in the eye and says" you finally going to do a little housework around here or are you just going out for a ride.??
the next guy walks into his house at 2 in the morning...his wife is waiting and mad as he77... she yells " is that lipstick on your shirt tail'?? he says " it sure is ..i used it to wipe my dick off" then he spins her around , smacks her on the azz and ays " your next fats"

so whats the differnce in the endings???? NONE --funerals are on friday......

A couple was in a horrible crash.The man pulled his wife rom the wreak. In the e.r. the doctor said"her faced is badly burned,and she too skinny too get a skin graft." "i need grfts from a person with exrta skin."The husband says , well i hva some extra skin on my butt will that do?"The doctor says "yes that will work." The husband asks his wife if this is alright?" she says thats cool but i dont want anybody to know where the skin came from.....After conferring with the doctor to keep the operation secret...the operation is done......After 6 months the wife is gettingcompliments on how pretty she is.The wife turns toward her husband and says...your so brave...i dont know how i can thank you."No need to thank me, everytime i seeyour mother kissing you on the cheek, is thanks enough for me." lmao

Headlines gone wrong: Killer sentenced to die for 2nd time in ten years.

A guy in a bar says,"Hell no im not homosexsual.....but my husband is!"

3 young catholic women go to confession.The first one goes in and tells the priest ...I kissed a man....she comes out and she tells the other 2 that she has to say 12 hail marys The 2nd one goes into the booth, and comes out and says," i have to say 20 hail marys and wash my hands in holy water." The 3rd one goes into the booth and stays for a long time Then comes out and when asked what her punishment was....leans down and scoops up some holy water and starts gargling....lol

A young man moves to a small catholic town. Every Friday the nieghbors smell the scent of beef coming from the young mans yard The whole town gets together trying to find an answer to this outrage.All of them come to a collective idea to convert this man to catholicism.."i know its spelled wrong."They bring the man to church and show him the way.After 3 months hes accepted to the church with the priest saying at the conversion.."You were born methodist,you were raised metodist, now your a catholic.!" 2 hours later the comunity, smelled beef once again....The priest went to the house of the man, and went into his back yard and watching the man turn a huge steak over on the pit...,Heard the man say,"You were born a steer, your were raised a steer, today your a fish!"...lmao

If you dont have anything nice to sayabout anyone,come and sit next to me.

Living on earth is expensive,butit does include a free trip around the sun every year.

2 girls were walking down the road when the first one says ,"Look at that dog with 1 eye!"The other girl covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

Why do blonde women have bruises around thier belly buttons? Because blonde men are stupid too. lol

3 ex leaders meet in the crawford ranch in Texas....All 3 are riding horses. They come to a stop and the ex- president from Mexico "prez. fox"Pulls out a bottle of Tequila takes a big swig,throws the bottle in the air and then draws his pistol and shoot the bottle out of the air.Impressed the other 2 ask why did he do that? In Mexico..the tequila is plentiful and the bullets are cheap! Not to be outdone..president Putin pulls out a bottle of vodka, takes a huge slug, then throws it in the air and pulls out his pitol and shoots it out of the air.The other 2 asks why did you do that?..In Russia, vodka is plentiful and bullets are cheap....George w bush syas okay....Pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels....sucks it half way down..places it back in his saddle bag...pulls out his pistoland shoots president Fox....Putin asks what in the hell did you do that for?In Texas..mexicans are plentiful...bullets are cheap,whiskey is expensive.....lol

The best place to hide americas (secrets), is to place them where obama hides his college transcripts and his birth certificate,...lol

Never argue with a stupid person.First the will drag you down to their level,then they will beat you with experience.

If you laugh alot,when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places..lol

close to 7/5ths of all people do not understand fractions !

camping isnt what it use to be, im goingto get fie wood, do you have change for atwenty?...lol

I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss keeps finding me and bringing me back.

MY GIRLFRIEND ASK ME TO TAKE HER OUT,SOMEWHERE EXPENSIVE, SO I TOOK HER TO THE GAS STATION! LMAO

"Hello is this the FBI?" "Yes,what cani help you with sir?" "Im calling to report about my neighbor, Billy Bob Smith!" hes hiding marijuana inside his firewood. "Thank you so much for the call,sir."The next day the FBI agents descend on Billy Bobs house.They search the shed where the fire wood is stored.Using axes,they bustevery piece of wood, but find no weed.They swore at Billy Bob and left.The phone rings at Billy Bobs house."Hey Billy,did the FBI come?" "Yeah was the reply." "Did the FBI chop your fire wood?" Yep!" "Happy birthday buddy!"

A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. "What happened to you?" asked the doctor. "Well it all started when me and my wife went golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field.""When i went to investigate, i saw the ballin a cows ass." "I went andliftedd the tail of the cow,and thats when i made my mistake.The doctor asked,"And what mistake was that?" "I said ,Hey this one looks like yours hun!"