Hunting Forum

God looks down and sees aman rowing in the river..he thinks lets see what happens if i take away a quarter of his brain...the rower sings "row row row your boat.etc. Hmmm says god.... lets see what happens when i take away half his brain. Again...row row row your boat gently...etc.WOW god thinks lets see what happens when i take away 3 quarters of his brain...he looks down and sees the rower rowing vigorously..yelling.....be... all that you can be...lol

Davey crockett woke up on that last faitful day and said"WHERE IN THE HELL DID ALL THESE SCAFFOLD BUILDERS COME FROM!"

how do you starve a black man?.....you hide his welfare check under his work boots ...lol

a woman in a skirt is late for church..shes running and her heel breaks in front of the church...she tumbles and falls in front of a young boy...she jumps up...and says "IS MASS OUT" then young man replies no but your wig is crooked

Have you heard of the new boy band in Iraq? its called NO KIDS ON THE BLOCK...LOL

I ADDED MORE JOKES ON THE FIRST PAGE AS WELL...damn...im sorry about the caps

A man with no ears is trying to find a reporter for his newspaper.The first applicant comes in.The interviewer says"in this job you have to pay attention to details" "What do you notice thats diffrent about me?""The man says hell you havent got any ears." Get outta here now was the response. T he 2nd applicant came in and the same question was asked of him as well."The man said..jeezz dude you dont have any ears." Get the hell out of here was the reply.As the 2nd man leaving he ran into the 3rd applicant and remarked"dont say anything about his ears hes a bit sensitive".The third man entered and was told...in this job you have to pay attention to detail...what do notice about me?...Well after careful consideration..the man said"your wearing contacts."The owner said great and how did you know that?""Well said the man you dont have any ears to hang glasses off of."

A teacher wsa trying to teach her students the word definitely...so she asked the students to put the word into a sentence.One child raised her arm and said"The sky is definitely blue."Well thats close but sometimes its gray and cloudy. A second student raised his hand and exclaimed,"The grass is definitely green."HMMM.said the teacher thats not accurate either..if you dont water the grass then it will turn brown.A third hand went up in the back..and the boy asked the teacher"Do farts have lumps in them?"Startled the teacher said"No and that was not a question to ask in class discussion"Well replied the boy..then i definitley sheit my pants."

I killed a deer one day and came home and cleaned and quartered it so i cook some venison for dinner. Knowing how picky my kids were at what they ate i decided to not tell them what we were having for supper, cause i knew they would not eat it if they knew what it was.While i was cooking my son asked "whats for supper?"I said"youll see."At the table my daughter wsa very persistant in asking "what are we eating?"I relented and said "ill give you a hint, its something that your mother sometimes calls me."My daughter jumps up screaming,"WERE EATING{1}*******!"

sorry about that. the answer was butt-h@@E

Not everyone will get this one... But oh well

Q: Whats the difference between lutefisk and boogers?

A: Kids won't eat lutefisk!

Lutefisk - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

How about this one...

If you want to pizz off a conservative, tell him a lie...
If you want to pizz off a liberal, tell him the truth...

Mwalton7, not only have I enjoyed reading this thread, I think it was really cool of you to start it for the reason you did. Thanks your a good guy.

wow lunker..im pretty sure most adults will not eat lutefisk eithier..lol..i have heard of it and its strangethat i havent tried it since my heritage goes into swedish and finlandish ties

Thanx mr. jlowe im really trying..but sometimes the mind goes blank.I can usually rattle off a bunch of these at a time ..but sometimes i have to have a catogory to run off..lol...Im going to to try and run some jokes every 2 days.   depending on how late i stay up. Im so impressed....normaly ill state comments on diffrent threads and everybody just blows it off with no comment.So getting a response is awesome. be cool.and safe...hope to hear from you again soon

M7, lutefisk is so good that even the people that do eat it only eat it once a year

They even have yearly lutefisk feeds where they gather, I think that they just like to dare each other to eat it

hmmm..here we go again..lol..... A dean at a college meets the new freshmen group in a auditorium. He says there are 2 rules, no males in the female dormitory,and no females in the male dormitory.The first time you get caught...its a $20 fine...The next time you get caught its a $60 fine...And the third time it is a $180..fine.A male in the back raises his hand asks,"HOW MUCH FOR A SEASON PASS?"

Three men in Saudi Arabia..get lost from their tour and walk into a very large tent that held 100 women that belonged to a harem.They start getting friendly with the ladies ,when a very wealthy sheik walks into the tent.The says"no one can touch these women but me and you will be punished by the occupation that you hold!"The sheik ask the first one whats your occupation? The 1st one replies"im a police officer." Then we will shoot your penis off.Then the 2nd guy was asked the same question. "Im a fireman." Then we will burn your penis off.The sheik asked the 3rd guy his occupation? The guy said with a sly smile,"Im a lollipop salsman."

This guy who loves to bird watch is out in his yard doing his thing.The neighborhood hes in doesnt have a buch of exotic birds to watch...But 1 night he thinks he sees an owl.So he does the best he cans a yells"whooo whooo!"He gets nothing in return,so he does it again..."whoooo whooo!"This time he hears a distinctive whooo whooo back. Hes amazed and does this for several hours with the owl returning the same sound.This goes on for weeks and hes very happy ..the same time everyday he does this...He tells his wife hes having a break through with communicating with animals. A couple of days later there is a big block party.The wife tells a neighbors wife that her husband is relly injoying his hobby and tells her how her husband at the same time everyday goes and talks to this owl.The neighbors wife says"Thats funny, my husband does the same thing at the same time everyday."

A woman is walking down the road with a duck under her arm. A drunk man walks up to her and says"Where did you get the piig?"The woman replies "You drunken fool! this is not a pig!" The man says,"quiet... im talking to the duck." lol