Hunting Forum

COYOTE HUNTING
 
Just a little story . . . . .

The old fellow in the big cowboy hat got a standing ovulation
The Sierra Club and the U. S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue.

What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U. S. Forest Service.

All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said...
"Son, I don't think you understand our problem here. These coyotes ain't  screwin' our sheep ... they're eatin' 'em!"

The meeting never really got back to order.

 

 

Some Senior Thoughts

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the
good fortune to run into the ones I do... and the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Now that I'm older(but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you really haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. It 's not hard to meet expenses . . .they're everywhere.

17.The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18.These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE.........

A Pirate walks into a bar and he has a ships wheel stuck to the front of his pants.

The bartender says " hey you got a ships wheel on the front of your pants" The pirate replies " Arrgh it's driving me nuts"

President Obama wakes up and his entire head is clear, so clear it is almost see through so he rushes to the doctors and gets a complete check up.

The doctor steps out to go over the test results and soon returns with a 5 gallon bucket full of awful smelling brownish clumpy liquid and tells Obama to drink every drop of it.

Obama lifts the bucket and chugs every last drop and when he is finished he tells the doctor it tasted like shit.

The doctor says " It is shit, you spewed so much before the election you were a few gallons low."

Hello to everyone got a few more here....i hope this finds everybody i good health and surving the best that they can.

An elderly patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After a short time, he meets the doctor again.Doctor: "Your hearing is perfect, your family must be really pleased."Patient: "Oh, im in a funny situation now. I havent told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, Ive changed my will three times!"

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?.......About three pounds, including the urn.

After 35 years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed and with tears in his eyes, he says, "Annabel, before i die, I have to tell you something." Yes, yes dear , anything, what is it?" He starts, "The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health."To which the wife nods her head and he continues,"When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side that kept me going. When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me!And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the store, you were right by my side the whole time. Annabel, youve been through everything with me." Bernie says," so before i die I just want you to know, youre a freakin jinx!"

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his moom called him to breakfast. On his way in, he kicked a cow, a pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "Whats the deal?" he asks. His mom says,"you kicked the cow, so no milk for you, you kicked the pig, so no bacon for you,and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you either."Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidently kicks the cat. The boy then says,"Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

okay...im sorry about this one...but i know some people in town that would say this...man im going to get my butt chewed......... A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.A cop pulled up and said,"Ive got to take you in, pal.Your obviously drunk."Our wasted friend asked,"Officer are you sure im drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, im sure,"said the copper."Lets go!" Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said,"Thank goodness, I thought i was disabled."

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter."Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts,swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck Gloria,"The old man hissed after Saint Peter walked off,"We could have been here 10 years ago, if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran,wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

Ever wonder how that phrase came about?

During the Civil war a small batallion of 15 union soldiers were stranded for months in a blizzard. As they marched on looking for shelter for weeks one of the soldiers was taken out by a lone Conferate sniper. They stopped only briefly to Bury Sgt. Peters and say a quick prayer.

As they continued they finally spotted a farm house back in the hillside. Not knowing it was a cat house full of snowed in lonely hookers, one brave soldier volunteered to go knock on the door to acess the circumstances.

The Madamm answered the door saying "well hello soldier". The soldier replied, ""Mam I have a small batallion of men that sure could use a break from this winter.

The Madaam asked "how many men do you have"? The sodier replied "14, without Peters".

The Madaam replied........"You have got to be chitting me"!
Limit politicians to two terms, one in office and one in prison"
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Dave is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I can't see where it went." His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of coffee. As they sit down she says,

"Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."

"That's no good," sighs Dave, "your brother's 103 years old. He can't help."

"He may be 103," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Dave heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Dave.

"I don't remember."

Topic: The old hippie on the world today
Posted: 13 Nov 2012 at 8:42pm
"in the 60's we did LSD to make the world look weird, today the world is weird so we take prozac to make it look normal, who would'a thunk it

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.

I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few
seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,
*'You need a piece of tail.*'

I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back,
*'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite *

Doctor Don had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said, 'Don, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Don.'
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
Don...............You're a veterinarian, you sick{1}*******.

It all makes sense now:

Gay Marriage and Marijuana being legalized in many states on the same day.

"Leviticus 20:13- "if a man lays with another man he should be stoned!

""WE'VE JUST BEEN INTERPRETING IT WRONG FOR YEARS"

Now thats friggin funney....lol

BEWARE NATURAL BORN CITIZENS .....



This just might make your day a little brighter!! You, who worry about Democrats, versus Republicans, relax, here is our real problem.

In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States.

It was pretty simple, the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.

In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and many ja{1}**** the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"

Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections, that brought us another 4 years of Obama!

And they walk Among Us!


And they reproduce!

God help America!!!
" America is at that awkward stage......... It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the{1}*******s."
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3 geoligists are in south america when they are captured by an unknown tribe..Being in the wrong area the cheif has to decide punishiment. He asks the first one...Death or Buka.. He replies,"Buka!"The chief rips the mans pants off and bends him over and has anal sex with the man...The chief asks the second man the same thing, He replies Buka....the same thing happens....Then the third man is asked the same thing..Thinking that death is good compared to the embarrassing acts that have happened to his friends, He yells, "death"...The crowd goes crazy.. and the chief raises his arm and says, Death by Buka!