Hunting Forum

I went for a yearly physical last week. The doctor poked and prodded for awhile....scratch his head a few times..but never said anything.Finally after a few minutes, i asked him "doc.. will i live to be 100 years old?" He turned to me and asked  "do you drink alot?" I replied "no sir."The doctor asked "do you smoke more than one pack a day?"Nope " i answered."do you chase women all night long as much as you can?""i would not do that." I replied....He looks me straight in the eyes and says "Then why in the hell would you want to live to be 100!"..lol

A texan,frenchman,mexican,and englander are on plane The plane starts to go down,,but there is only one parachute..We must sacrifice ourseleve so that one may tell our story said the mexican...Without hesitating the british guy jumps outta the plane yelling"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN" splats to his death. The french man wanting not to be outdone by the british jumps out screaming"VIVA LA FRANCE".As the 2 left watch the frenchman fall..the texan grabs the mexican and chucks his butt out of the plane hollering as loud as he could..."REMEMBER THE ALAMO"

A young man walks into acorn to appliy for a job,The interviewer asked"where did you learn to be an accountant?"The man said "Yale".Being somewhat impressed he asked the man"and where did you get your buisness degree?"The man said "Yale.Truly impressed the boss stood up and shook the mans hand and said"welcome to the team." What was your name again?....He replied "YIM YOHNSON"

3 ex leaders meeting in france to discuss world affairs..The waiter comes to the table to get their drink orders.The waiter looks at prime minister Howard(australia) and ask "sir la brandy?" yes thanks says the ex prime minister.The waiter turns towards ex presidet Putin(russia)and inquires "la vodka mr president?" Yes comrade says the russian leader.The waiter turns once again to the third party..President Clinton..."Mr president...la whiskey?" President looked at the waiter and said" sir dont ever mention that womans name again please"

Two dudes go hiking in the woods. 1 small on and a good sized body builder.After a couple of hours they stop to rest. When they are nice and rested..they go down the trail again...not far from where they stopped..they run into the biggest most pissed of grizzly bear they have ever seen.With the big bear only yards away..the little guy bends down and starts tying his shoes....The bigger guy says" what the hell are you doing?" "You cant out run that bear"....The smaller guy says"i dont have to out run the bear...i just have to out run you." lol

Mr Steve dont say im not trying...lol

in the early 1900s the ruler was the czar..his wif was czarina...did that make their kids czardies? lmao

This game warden was watching the river one day and nobody was catching anything.An elderly man pulls up in a little flat bottom full of fish...The warden checks him out and remarks wo w you must have found a huge fishing hole. MAY I COME WITH YOU TOMMORROW TO SEE WHERE IT IS? Yeps said the older gentleman..be here at 6:00a.m. sharp. The next morning the warden climbs in the boat and they motor down stream about 8 miles...the gentleman kills the motor..and says"here we are."The game warden starts to bait his hook when he sees the older man reach into his tackle box pulls out a stick of dynamite..lights the fuse and throws into the water.....BOOM....fish are floating everywhere.In complete utter disbelief..the warden says.."sir that illegal..to fish with...The older gentleman picks up another stick and lights it..then throws the lighted stick into the game wardens lap and says very calmly...."are you gonna talk or fish?"

According to an old college buddy who's father was Junior Samples' lawyer, that story is actually an incident that Samples really did.

Thanks for the bit of humor mwalton7. We use to see much more of it on here, then everyone got too serious or took offense. There used to be a couple threads dedicated to humor, but they've long disappeared.

your welcome grandpops

AHHHH HAAAAA.... Yall that i was done huh/..check this out........A woman walks into her bosses office one day and exclaimes "i wanna file sexual harassment against timothy lohorn" The boss asked on what grounds? "He said my hair smelled nice." The boss said i figure thats a compliment..She said "hes a midget"...

why cant black people be in paratoopers?...their lips blow out at 10,000 feet

2 guy end up at the pearly gates..the man in back befriends the one in front of him and asks "how did you die?" The guy in front says well i froze to death.""WOW"that must have been bad The guy in front not really..you get very cold and just kinda go to sleep.the guy in front asked how did you die. Well i came home and found my wife vaccuuming in the nude so i knew she was cheating on me . S o i looked everywhere for himand before i could find him i had a massive heart attack..the other guy said damn dude if you would have looked in the deep freeze first...we would still both be alive

A paratrooper comes home and is talking to his dad about basic traing...The young man says dad that was tough..."we went up in the plane on my first jump..and when it came for me to jump...i stopped."The drill sargent said boy...get the hell of my plane"...i responded b-b-but i just cant drill sargent. He yelled "if you dont get off my plane im gonna fu@@ you in the butt! The father asked "well did you jump son?" He replied,"a little at first".

An elderly couple was coming back from an annversiary dinner when the pased a familiar land mark.She asked him to stop and said "do you remember what you did to me on that fence 25 years ago""I wish you would do that again" So he obliges her and sets her against the fence and he goes downtown...shes writhing and screaming and shaking..and he has the best sex of his life..when he finishes...he pants out loud "you never moved like that 25 years ago" Still shaking she says" 25 years ago that fence wasnt electrified" ..lmao

Why cant mexicans be astronauts? Every time they here 3..2...1..launch....they stop to eat.

hold on people..its 0:2:00 and my minds blank..give me a few lol

2 cows meet at the feeding trough..1 looks at the other and says..wow this is cool getting fed everyday.the 2nd cow looks at the first 1 and says holy crap..you can speak too?Yeah i can speak..what do you think about this mad cow disease? the 2nd cow says "what the hell do i care...im a truck".

Me and a friend were walking through a park when we came across 3 women on a park bench eating bannanas.I told him it was easy to pick each womans occupation...he said no way you can do that.I said okay ..but wait....the first 1 is easy....shes a nun..see how she breaks off a piece at atime and then eats it? The 2nd one is a hooker...she takes the whole bannana in her mouth and eats it. The 3rd one is a house wife...she puts her hand behind her head and forces her mouth to eat the bannana......lmao