Twas night before Christmas in dis Finnish house and nuttin vas stirrin’ – not even da mouse. Da rest of da family vas all fast asleep wit vissions of pasties delivered by Jeep.

Da vorkboots vas hung by da chimbley wit care in hopes dat St. Nikkula soon vould be dare, and in da far corner vas lovely to see da Stroh’s cans and cabbage dat hung from da tree.

Ma home from da Empire and me outta yail, had yust hit da hay for some pre-Christmas tail. Den all of a sudden da house starts to shudder some nut’s on da roof and he’s broke da rain gutter.

He yumps down da chimbley and swears ‘cause it’s tight, as I hide behind beer cases, way outa sight. He lands in da fireblace scorching his hair on a busted up orange crate still burning in dere.

He climbs out da fireblace and I take a look he’s yust like dey show him in my coloring book. Wit Vodka glazed eyes and da stomach like bubble a five day old beard and dere’s soot on da stubble.

His teeth when he smile look like Grampa’s swede saw, he wears tennis shoes big as grizzly bear’s paw. Dis old Finnish elf gives me nutin’ to fear ven he heads for da kitchen for cookies and beer!

He kills off a six pack, den belches and smirks, den all of a sudden he’s ready to vork. Now under da tree he is startin’ to set da most beautiful presents us Finlanders get.

Der’s new pasty-matic, a shovel for brudder, a Jonsered chain saw, and a pick axe for mudder. Some mud flaps and CB for my new 4-wheeler, a helmet and night shirt dat says “Pittsburgh Steelers.”

He closes da sack and yumps back in da coals and hollering, YOUCH up da chimbley he rose. He grunted and groused as he tossed out his bag and cracked such a beer fart I’m startin to gag!

I must watch him leave, so I rushes outside and looks up da roof while in bushes I hide. And vat does I see ven I looks tru da tvigs? But dis old vooden garbage cart pulled by eight pigs!

Santala yumps in and give’em all hell: “Let’s go all youse pigs, don’t yust sit dere and smell!” ON EINO! ON TAISTO! ON LEMPPI! ON JOE! And alla youse udders what names I dunno!

Fly over Negaunee and turn to da right. We’ll make it to Houghton before I get tight!” Da pigs oinked and sqvealed as dey vent on der vay. No vunder he never shows up Christmas Day!

I stood dere dumb-founded and vatched for avhile and realized some guys yust have different style. Den I hear him exclaim wit a cynical sneer: “PULL IN AT DAT STROH’S SIGN – I RAN OUTTA BEER!”


"Firearms are second only to the constitution in importance, they are the peoples liberty's teeth." George Washington

Thats good.Soon to be a Christmas classic.You and yours have a great holiday Yooper.

I don't care who you are, that's funny! ROFLMAO
Club member since 2001 formerly MEL

LOL!!!

Very funny...

Going to Marquette tomorrow for a few days.


"There are hundreds of millions of gun owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today. The only misuse of guns comes in environments where there are drugs, alcohol, bad parents, and undisciplined children. Period." - Ted Nugent

With the holidays fast approaching I though this great masterpiece should be resurrected.

Thanks Yooper.

Absolutely Yooper! It's a classic...

hahaha lmao great story yooper

Posted By Yooper on 09 Dec 2010 06:56 PM 

With the holidays fast approaching I though this great masterpiece should be resurrected.

Disappointing ta say da least! I just can't wait any longer for yous guys to bring dis wonderful piece of Yooper prose back to da first page so I will just have to see to your enlightenment (for the third time) myself.  Merry Christmas anyway, Yous Guys.

nice going there yooper and i wish ya all Very Merry Christmas

Nice xmas story there, i wish ALL of you a merry xmas, be safe and in good health.

geez! we leave 1 stinkin' job to the yooper that he only has to do once a year and he grumps about it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS CHEEZHEAD!

ROFL    I love that one Yooper, it great!

yep that it be

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOOPER
AND THE REST OF THE GANG.......EH